Ask Arsen: Handling parents who pressure
Dear Arsen,
My parents have constantly been pressuring me about doing well in school. I am a student athlete, I play soccer, but I also have a “B” in all of my classes. I try to tell them that I am doing the best I can with keeping soccer and school balanced, but they never listen to me. Arsen, please tell me how I can get them to listen to me and understand my situation!
-Pressured
Dear Pressured,
I understand your situation completely! I go through the same thing. My parents are always pressuring me to do well in school and lacrosse. My advice to you is to, right after you come home from school, tell them that you would like to have a family meeting later in the evening. Or, during dinner, bring up this conflict. Tell them that you are doing the best that you can, and remind them that you have good grades. They don’t need to pressure you to get good grades if you already have them! Make sure they are listening to you at all times. If they are just looking at their phone screen and nodding, remind them that you are speaking about an important issue, and you would appreciate if they listened to you.
I hope my advice helps,
Arsen
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umm I’m not giving you my name I’m just here to comment • Feb 11, 2018 at 1:11 am
A “B” is not a good grade. I balance volleyball, hanging out with friends, and play practice, and guess what? I have all As! Not even an A-. It is possible! And let me tell you, honestly, it seems like you’re not trying your best. It is hard to manage things? Of course! But you are not being “pressured” or “stressed” by anyone. Your parents want you to have good grades because they want you to have a better future. If you can’t do well in school; DROP SOCCER. Soccer and many other sports is a great way to learn life lessons, like teamwork, dedication, and commitment. But, school comes first, and your parents and LIFE ITSELF can teach you essential lessons.
And this brings me to my final point. What kind of thing is a “family meeting”? If you ever have to call a “family meeting”, you’re not doing it right. Just tell your parents about what’s going on, and ask how you can relieve the stress of managing two things. Your parents want what’s best for you, so they will help you out. If I was a parent, I would be stunned if my kids asked me to back off after I just asked them to get their grade up. SHAME!
In conclusion, Arsen — this was not your best advice; respectfully. I think you could’ve thought this through and replied in a more relatable manner – not responding with something straight out of a parenting book designed to convince out of control children to force their parents to get them therapy and/or gifts they don’t deserve.