Nothing You Could Do

Nothing+You+Could+Do

Chapter One

 

Her body hits the floor

Nothing you could do

You kneel down in shock

As you feel the warm, sticky blood

On your hands and knees 

Nothing you could do

Your reality crumbles around you

Only the other day

You fought

Over who could clap loudest

Now she lays

With a hole in her skull

Nothing you could do

Eyes to never close again

Her mouth to never smile

All she ever did was brighten the world

So why

Oh, Why

Would she deserve this?

NOTHING YOU COULD DO

 

The nurse covers me with a blanket. It’s pink. With little puppies on it. She would have loved this blanket. I want to move. I want to shout. I want to curl up in a ball and die. The nurse tells me sweet meaningless things. It doesn’t matter. Nothing he says will bring her back. Nothing you could do. I could’ve tried. I could’ve tried to stop them. I could have tried to save her. IT COULD HAVE MATTERED. STOP SAYING I COULDN’T DO ANYTHING. Stop telling me I couldn’t save her. Stop telling me that I couldn’t  stop them from killing her… The world is blurry now. I’m crying. I can’t feel the tears against my skin. I recognize one face out of the vastness. Dan. Dan was her dad. He hugs me. His face is red and puffy and swollen. It almost hides the cut on his cheek. It’s been stitched up nicely. Almost hides the truth underneath. “Sam. Sam. SAM!” His voice brings me back. No. No. No. I want to go back. I want to return to my state of numbness. It makes me feel…good. “Sam…Are you okay?” I shake my head. He brings me into a bear hug. 

 

“Sam! Hurry up! We’re gonna miss all the good houses!” Her voice echoes through the house. I put on the furry bear suit. Ugh. Why did I say yes to a family costume??! I hate this so much…I should’ve just gone to Lee’s party. Maybe I could talk to him… I grab the trick or treat bag and head down the stairs. Mom grabs the camera. “Okay everyone! Smile!” I roll my eyes. She smiles wide. The little bear ears make her look adorable. Dan pulls us into a big bear hug as the flash of the camera illuminates the memory. 

 

Bear hug. She loves bear hugs. Tears sting my face as I cry. Dan cries with me. How did everything fall apart so quickly…