I don’t like my name. I’ll tell you that much.

            “Joy! Did you see-“

            “Joy! What time-“

            “Joy! Where’s-“

            “Joy! What-“

            “Joy! I-“

            “Joy!”

            Joy

            Joy 

            Joy

            It’s so empty. It feels like someone forgot to give it depth. Unfortunately, it’s the only thing people can think to call me. It’s suffocating.

            “Joy! Hurry or we’ll miss the bus!” Kaitlin, my sister bounced in with a cheerful delight only she could seem to muster. “I made tuna sandwiches!”

            Of course, “Did you make it with Miracle Whip or regular mayonnaise?”

            “We only had Miracle Whip!” I despise Miracle Whip. It’s too sweet for savory foods and should never be used es a substitute for mayonnaise.

            “I’ll just make something here, while you’re out.”

            “You’re not coming with?” Then she got all sad. Too bad.

            “Nope. Go ask El to drive you.”

            “But,” she started to cry her sad little sister tears, yay. “El’s mad at me though!” I still don’t know why they got into that argument.

            “Sorry, I’m busy.” I wanted her to just go away.

            She didn’t. “And do what? Play solitaire all day?”

            “For your information I have homework.” It technically wasn’t a lie, my homework was to reconnect with an old friend I hadn’t talked to in a while.

            “Fffiiiiiiinnnnneeeee! Hmpf!” And with that she bounced down the stairs and into El’s studio. A drawn out creeeek echoed through the house and then, kabobloobom! “Why did you leave a pile of books by your door?”

            “Why’d you barge in?”

            With that I shut my door and put my headphones in. The sounds of hiper pop burst through the speakers and the world faded away as I slipped into a dream.

            The world in my dreams is very different. The people, well they aren’t like people. Arca is what they called it. Bright and colorful shapes fill the sky that drips and oozes. It’s beautiful. It was my favorite place.

            In my dream I was visiting my friend Forest. They had invited me over for lunch. We caught up on things since I hadn’t seen them for a week or so. My dreams were weirdly linear. 

            In Arca, my name is Tally. I like Tally because I like the idea of being able to keep track of everything, like a tally.

            Forest and I were having pizza and watching our favorite shows. We laughed and sang along to the intros. 

            But like every dream, it has to end. I honestly wish it hadn’t.

            I opened my eyes, got up and walked around the house. It was empty, which at the time seemed perfectly normal. I thought that maybe El and Kaitlin were still out. I checked the time, 2 o’clock sharp. Strange but not too bizarre. I decided to try and call El. She didn’t answer.

            I decided to take a walk. I didn’t see anyone. It was so strange. 

            There were blurry shapes just outside of my vision. Not the kind that just comes from shadows or your eyes not focusing right. No, these were bright and colorful and had corners that seemed just off. I couldn’t look right at them. They didn’t want me to. So I didn’t. I don’t know if that would have changed anything.

            I decided to go to the one place I knew would have people. The train station. Now if you’re envisioning something open and airy or in some modern building, you’d be wrong. 

            The train station by my house is old and the city doesn’t take care of it. It hasn’t been remodeled since the 80’s and has sig butts in all the corners. It always had people. Even if they were just some random people sitting on the bench on their phone.

            Nobody. 

            It was empty.

            Not a single person. They pull down the security gates when they close so they had to be open besides who would close just after two? The train schedule was still up. I looked at when the next train was coming. 

            2:30 PM red line, 2:45 PM red line, 3:00 PM red line. I’d never been on the red line before. I just wanted to get somewhere else. 

            I checked my phone. 2:28 PM. Had that much time already passed?

            The train pulled in and screeched to a stop. The doors opened and I stepped in. The windows didn’t show concrete or the city. The colors were too bright and the shapes didn’t feel natural. I think that’s when I realized I wasn’t coming back the same.

            All I want now is tuna sandwiches, even with Miracle Whip. I wish I went with Kaitlin on the bus, but I didn’t.